Seeking Inspiration

I had a few hours to myself this afternoon. No small feat in this house. The grocery shopping was done, there were no doctors appointments, no repair or maintenance people making house calls, not even the urge to go out an shop. (I know, go figure?!?) So I decided to see what was on my TiVo, as I hadn't looked at it since we lost power last Saturday. I had only one show on the saved box- 18 newly aired episodes of Oprah's Lifeclass. I was interested in the concept of the show, but somehow, I have felt reluctant to watch it. I had been in a t.v. funk ever since Oprah and Entourage went off the air. I had it all recorded, so I decided to give it a try. I don't know what it is about Oprah, but I am always amazed by the emotional connection I have to most of what she puts on the air. I was a huge fan of her daily show, especially when she decided to explore matters of the heart and spirit. I felt very inspired by her prime time Big Give, after which I started my first writing project, a year long blog about committing random acts of kindness. I am once again inspired, but this time I need some help to get on track.

While watching her ruminate on the topic of "Joy Rising" I felt inspired. She is able to give in a big way and make a huge impact on the lives of many deserving people. She utilized that ability to give away a car to each member of her audience (carefully selected by need). She had the ability to give away a house to a deserving single mother. She even had the ability to give someone's acting career, their life-long dream, a jump start. Sitting watching this, I clearly understood that I have not been inspired in a very long time. I watched as both the giver and the recipient felt real inspiration and real joy. I realized that my source of unhappiness and discontent over the years is not what I thought it was. I thought because I had chosen to stay at home with my kids instead of pursuing my career that this was the source of my frustration and lack of fulfillment. I had never been quite satisfied with that conclusion. Despite searching for answers in mediation, reading, a trip or three to Kirpalu and many hours of yoga I still felt stuck. The truth is that my source of despair has been my lack of inspiration. I need to be creative, to find my voice and use it to help others. I feel this very clearly and understand viscerally that I can make myself and my family much happier by putting my talents to work in a way that both feeds my creativity and gives to my community. I want to "get" by giving back. That's the big picture. I need help with the details.

I am looking for ideas. My general idea is inspired by Mother Theresa: "Do small things with great love." I would like to undertake some sort of small project that will benefit someone or some group in my community. I want to do something that fulfills a needs that is not being fulfilled. I remember reading about a woman who, as a social worker, saw daily the need for struggling families to get clean diapers. In so seeing the need, she started a small charity collecting diapers and distributing them to needy families. The impact was immediate and real. Children were drier, homes were cleaner and children were less likely to get sick. This has now grown into very large and productive charity. This is the general idea, direction and inspiration I am talking about. I would like to do something like this with my time and talent. I want to do something that inspires me, fulfills me and uplifts me without having to give up all the time and attention my children still require. This feels very much like a calling- a "Aha Moment."

Send me your ideas. E-mail me. Call me up, let's chat. Reply to this post. With your help, I know that the next chapter is waiting to be written.